AS THE HIDDEN SHOWN

I just wanna share something that might answer the questions that were playing in my friends mind. Yesterday, I have a very gloomy expression and I am incapable of making it bright as I usually am. Actually, I am disappointed in myself at that time because I overslept. Waking up late was really turning my mood down. I am not mad at my friends. Not AT ALL!!! I am REALLY MAD at myself that I feel like crying. The problem is, I don’t have any time alone that morning so I couldn’t cry my heart out as I have a class party to attend. I am holding everything in but I couldn’t manage my expression that well and my friends were asking me why I am different that day. They said I am not bright as always. I wanna tell them why but I know if I let it out my tears will follow. I just kept quiet. However, a friend of mine which was sitting beside me keep asking me why and it’s bothering me so I wrote a message to her using my phone, guessing that I won’t be crying that way. To my shock, after passing my-message-typed-phone to her my tears were rushing to come out. I don’t want anyone to see me that way because I am not sad because of them but because of MYSELF. So I hurriedly left the class to the toilet just beside it and my tears were running down my cheeks without a stop. I am scared that anyone of my friends will find me in that toilet so I decided to take the stairs and calm myself down after praying Dhuha in the surau. As I am bad with direction, I lost my way to the surau. Hahaha. And because of that, she found me on my right path to the surau. I couldn’t hide any longer and she persisted on staying with me in that surau. After I had calm down as my anger was disappearing along with the tears I shed, then I returned to my normal self. Well, that’s me. Whenever I am mad or sad or have any unpleasant feeling I will cry. After all the crying I can be normal again. If I hold in the tears, I will be a little bit gloomy. I never hold it in before and it answers everything.